Video of Stanton and his 30 month Journey

I know people come here for a good laugh and it has been a while since I posted anything funny.
But today I would like to share something a little different. A video that we put together with music that show the journey my oldest son has been on for the last 30 months.


I think God gave me a sense of humor just for such events in our life. If I was one of those worries or always doom and gloom I think when all this came about I would now be in some institution banging my head against the wall.

HAVE TISSUE READY
Just to give you a short version of what has happened over the last 11 years and help explain this video.
In 2000, when he was 8 he was first diagnosed with Rhambdomysarcoma which is a very fast growing brain cancer and he was given a 10% chance of living. We went to Vanderbilt for a biopsy so they could determine what kind of treatment to give him. Being only 8 years old, he did not completely understand all of it, but enough. As Gina was giving him one last hug he saw her crying and said to her "Remember Mom I have a 10% chance" after about an hour the surgeon came running down the hall yelling "It's not Cancer!!!" It in fact was a thing called Lymphangioma. So the treatment for that was to let it go and just monitor it.
So for years we did that without any change. Then on what we thought was the next to the last MRI he would ever have for this, it had done what we had prayed would never happen, It grew. This is where the surgery comes it. It was a 12 hour surgery and had to go through the middle of his cerebellum to get to it. Going into surgery we were told he may never walk or talk again and we had prepared ourselves for that. Even got a white board and one of those speech boards ready.
After he came out of surgery, we watched him hooked up to all the monitors and wonder if we would ever hear him speak or see him walk again. They were taking the tube out of his throat and had sent us out. The nurse came running for me and said to come quickly. When I enter the room Stanton looked at me and said "Daddy my head hurts and I need to pee". I never thought words like that would bring tears to my eyes. We still did not know if he would ever walk. Then that night as I had the duty of sleeping with him I was awoken by him trying to walk to the bathroom with all the tubes attached. From there it was all down hill. Yes, he has eye issues and had surgery to adjust, but it is still not perfect, but we can deal with that.

Now that you know the short version, I hope you enjoy the video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKCBIfN6daA

Sorry for the somber moment, but hope to be back with some funny observations soon.

Can’t get a Blue Tooth device for my Motorola StarTac

Yesterday afternoon I saw a guy that was looking so cool, had on his V-neck T-shirt with chains along with dress shoes and no socks. As he walked through the parking lot it appear that he was talking to himself, even using hand gestures. He was heading my way, so I was doing my best to not make eye contact, cause I figure he was a few bricks shy of a load. Then about that time he turned his head and I saw it. That little blue blinking light on his Blue Tooth, informing everyone he was on the phone.

The thing is, everyone on his right side would think he was crazy and talking to himself, just like I thought. While everyone on the left side saw the warning signal. You know they really need to give those people a cap with a blue light on the top of it, so everyone knows they are on the phone.Like the blue light Kmart used years ago. I am sure Kmart is not using them anymore.

I sure could have used one of those today. As I walked out of the bank I was walking beside a black lady and she proceeded to say “I know you must hate me”. I looked at her, trying to figure out why she would say that to me. When she said “I am not going to take your sh*t”. Now I was really confused cause I had not said a word to her and did not feel like I deserved those comments. She was staring at me as we waited on traffic to pass and I kept glancing at her, just waiting to see what her next move was. With that she says “D@mn that b*tch just hung up on me” as she reached down in her pocket for her phone. I still had not seen a Blue tooth, cause she had long hair that covered both ears, but once I got a distance away I could faintly see it blinking through her hair.

Now this would be a perfect candidate for the blue light cap. Although I am sure it would mess up her hair. Maybe they could make some kind of hair ribbon for the ladies or a necklace they hang around their neck.

As I got in my car, I was just thinking what if it had been another woman standing there with the same kind of attitude she seemed to have. I am sure before the caller got the chance to hang up on her, we would have seen a cat fight right there in the parking lot.

This is why I flip my Motorola StarTac open and make the calls for all the world to see. Do not want anyone thinking I am talking to them in that tone. By the way, they don’t make a Bluetooth for that phone, so I really have no worry.. When I go in there looking for accessories those young punks just look at it and laugh. Do they not realize this phone was the most advance phone they made in 1996?

Ever forget to put your suit on when going to the pool?

Today I was shopping in one of those big box stores and came across something for the first time. I was checking out the clearance items on the back side of the rows when I looked up to see a lady in her late 20’s walking my way. She was pushing a buggy but I could see the top half of her outfit and it was at that time I notice she appear to have nothing on under the top and it was see thru. Being a concerned citizen  as she walked past me I made sure to check out the back side to see if it fact it was see thru. Sure enough, you could see right thru that out fit and she had nothing on under it.

It was one of those outfits that you will see ladies wearing at the pool over a bathing suit. It was apparent to me she had forgot to put the suit on and had run into the store for a few pool items, which is where I was. I know someone would not actually go shopping like that on purpose, although I was not complaining. Just to make sure my eyes were not playing tricks on me, I doubled back to make sure and at this point she did not have the buggy in front of her and I knew for a fact she was naked under that dress.

All this reminded me of a time when I was like 14 and swam on the swim team. Every morning I would drag myself out of bed, ride my bike to the neighborhood pool and put in my early morning work out. Then come home and climb back in bed. After lunch I would then put shorts on over my speedo and ride my bike back down to the pool and spend the day. Granted at that time I had a body that looked okay in a  speedo, if I did it today it would be to just embarrass my children.

On this particular morning I came home from practice, had to take a shower and go to the doctor. So after the appointment I came back to the house for lunch and then headed for the pool. I entered the pool like I did every time. Waved at the life guards I knew and proceeded to the table in the corner I always placed my stuff. I took off my socks and shoes, removed my shorts and shirt and proceeded to walk to the edge of the pool. At this point I would reach down and feel for the draw string in my suit and make sure it was tight. You never want to dive in the pool with a  loose suit, although a speedo looks tight, it will go down to your ankles real quick if not tightened.

On this day, I reached down to find the string and realized I was not feeling the waistband of my suit, but in fact was feeling the waistband of my munsingwear. Here I stood at the edge of the pool in my underwear and had just smiled and waved at the cute girl lifeguard on duty. Luckily there was only about 5 people at the pool at this time and non of them seem to be looking my way. So I casually turned around, put my clothes back on and as I walked out the door I told the lifeguard “I will be back, I forgot my suit” to which she replied “I noticed”

So maybe that is what this lady has done. Maybe she thought she had he suit on. Either way, it had me speechless.

Why do people have a treadmill and a riding mower?

As summer is upon us, I was starting to notice all the yards being mowed, some by the owners with a riding mower and even more by paid professionals. These are the same people that probably have a treadmill in their house or pay money every month to a health club to stay in shape.

It cracks me up when you go in some of these neighborhoods with very little yard and the guy is on a big John Deere yard tractor. You know the kind that he has to go out in the street to turn around. This yard could be cut with a 22" walk behind in 30 minutes, but they have to get on this big tractor with the cup holder and make two passes around the yard.

I can remember when I was a child; my father would be up with the sun and out in the yard all day on Saturdays, working in the garden, mowing the grass, washing the cars. Then when I got old enough, he trained me to do the same.

Then when I got old enough to actually cut grass, I had as many as 8 yards in the neighborhood I would cut per week using a push mower that was NOT self propelled. Edge the yard with a manual edger and any trimming was done with things similar to hair sheers. Each yard would take up to 3 hours and I would get $8-10. Now my boys do some of the same yards in an hour and make $30-40.

This was back before there were the treadmills in the house or the Y was anything more than a place you took your kids to learn to swim or take a tumbling class. This was also back before sports became a weekend long event for the kids.

When our riding mower tore up several years ago, the boys said we needed another mower. So being the thoughtful caring father that I am I went out and got them another mower. Another walk behind and when I brought it home they said “No, we meant another riding mower”. I figure since I was not cutting the grass anymore, why did we need a riding mower. I did get the self propel model so it was easier on them.

Now I have a treadmill in the house that is stationed in front of the TV in the AC. Which before I hurt my back I used every night. You could not tell I did, but my blood pressure and other vital signs proved I did.

Now, we have larger houses, which we spend less time in and smaller lawns that we have others cut or ride ourselves.

Is this a bad thing? Not sure, I am just making an observation of what we have become as a society. I know for myself as I coached for all these years, I became bigger as I kept my players in shape and now it seems impossible to get any of it off of me. Maybe I should help the boys with the yard? LOL, now that is FUNNY, Not going to happen. I have at least three more years of their slave labor and I am going to enjoy it.

Got my first Pedicure and probably last.

While on vacation my wife ask if I would get a his & hers pedicure with her. Isn’t there always something you do on vacation you would never do on a regular basis? Just like they say in the commercial, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Although we were not in Vegas, the same principal applies.

So we go to this place to have it done and my wife informs me it is “like $15” to have it done. For those that have had it done, you know that price is not correct and I think my wife knew that. But she also knows how cheap I am and if she had told me the real price, I would have let her go alone. There are no prices posted any where because I looked around for them as we are waiting our turn.

There are three oriental people working on people, two females and a male. The guy looks up and ask if we would like something to drink including water, soda or wine. I kindly say no but he insists, so I request water. He gets up from his position in which he is scrubbing on ladies feet and goes to the back. I think he is coming out with the drink or taking his gloves off and getting the drink. But No, he has grabbed some tools he needs, walks over to the cooler, grabs the water with his gloved hands that have been scrubbing on someone’s feet and hands me the water. Okay, my kids say I am a germaphobe, which might be the case. But I think even if I were not a germaphobe this would got to me. As I sat there trying to make sure to only touch the bottle in the areas he had not touched. I watched them work on other people.

Then it came our time to get in the chairs. I made sure they emptied out those tubs and cleaned them before I got up there, which they did. I then proceeded to put my feet down in the water and allow them to soak in this mini whirlpool.  As I sat there watching as the workers rotated out, I was hoping I was going to get a female, I really did not want a guy rubbing my feet. It was my lucky day I got a female to give me my first pedicure. Another reason I never tried one is because I am very ticklish on my feet and was not sure I could handle it, so I was not sure how this was going to go.

As she began to work on my feet, I noticed that other people got different amounts of attention and wondered why that was. So then the oriental lady in very broken English ask what kind I wanted, Which I had no idea. So she ask Gina and that is when they broke out the price sheet. It is at this point I found out, I was basically already at $25 of service and for another $10 I could get the deluxe. I know my wife knew it was this expensive, but she did not say a word. Her and the technician had me in the chair and knew I was already out $50 plus tip for the both of us, so what is another $10 to get the deluxe treatment, which included a calve massage and deep oil rub.

Over the years I have broke three different toes and the nails have never been the same. This lady worked on my nails and got them all looking “normal”. She brought out what looked like a drummel and buffed one way down and then she used what looked like a wood planer to get all the dead skin from my soles. As expected there were times when I could not stop from laughing and did my best to not kick the poor lady.

Okay before I tell this last part, I need to explain something. My wife says I have the libido of a teenage boy and she holds out hope that someday I will be like every old man my age and calm down some. But just like she did not give me all the details about the pricing, I am not going to tell her I have a feeling I will be like this till I die.

Okay, so now the lady started rubbing my feet and massaging this oil into them. While holding the one foot up and working between each toe and then up my calf. This was all part of the deluxe treatment to remove stress. While she has my foot in her hands, positioned right at her chest plate, which means it is planted between her breast. She begins to rub up and down and then looks me right in the eyes and says “Feel good? You like?”

At that moment, I know I needed to look at the ceiling and take my thoughts away from where they were going. I was saying to myself “It is a pedicure…It is Pedicure” Which seemed to be working and I was calmed back down and then she said “You relax…Enjoy”. It was like she knew what she was doing and was enjoying the conflict that was going on inside my head. I had to start thinking about baseball and any other subject that would keep my mind away from the thoughts that were coming into my head.

I looked over at my wife who was getting her nails painted and she was smiling at me and I tried to give her a grin back, but at the same time not to much of one to reveal the thoughts that I was trying to keep out of my head. This really had me confused, cause I have gotten many massages over the years and not once have I had any sexual thoughts while laying in a dim lit room with soft music playing. But her I sit in a bright room with people all around me with only my shoes off and I am trying to fight off these thought.

So, after we got in the car, I told my wife all about it and her response was “Do you think you will ever be more than a teenager when it comes to that?”  I could not give her a answer on that. I mean I have been this way for 47 years and have a feeling I will be this way for another 47. I do have to say the extra $10 I spent was well worth it and my feet did feel much better.

I have a feeling my wife will not be asking me to go back with her anymore.

So you think you have a rough job?

 

We just recently returned from vacation and I think I saw one of the happiest guys I have seen. When I got on the elevator with him he introduced himself and said he was there to take care of us until 11:00 if we need anything. Based on his uniform, I knew he was not management or front desk person, but some member of the maintenance crew.

So as the week went on, I would see him around the complex and noticed that he was part of the clean up crew. Emptying trash, maintaining the grass and many other projects, while all the time with a big grin and saying hello to everyone that pass.

On the next to last day we were there, I was floating around in the lazy river enjoying the peaceful movement of the water, while listening to the ocean in the distance. At the same time listening in on a college age guy and girl talk about their exciting night they had last night. This is a PG-13 Blog, so I can not repeat any of the stories.

As we round a corner all of a sudden I heard the guy say, “no that was not me” as the girls gasp. I then came up on the same smell thinking it would be that of a fart, but instead it smelled like someone had dropped a load right there. So I began to look down in the water for floating “logs” but saw nothing. Made another round and sure enough in the same spot we had the same smell. Then as we came around the back side I started noticing what appeared to be “logs” near the bottom and abut that time a guy notices up on the wall some kind of object. As I got closer it appear to be just want we thought, but appear to have been handled like playdough before placed on the wall. With that I quickly exit the pool and decided to go take a shower and put my suit in the wash for cleaning. One of the other guys said he was going to report it to the front desk and everyone else started to exit the pool.

While in my room, I looked down at the pool and notice the same happy guy was now in charge of cleaning up the “unknown object”. As I watched him work I could hear him whistling as he did it, talking to people as they walked by with the same joyous voice. Here was a guy cleaning up human waste and he was happy to do it.

This reminded me of the time when our septic tank back up into our basement and we had to clean up the mess. The septic pump people showed up and Gina made a comment about how this day had sucked and the guy turned and looked at her with a smile and said “Lady, at least you don’t have to clean up other peoples sh*t”. To which we both laughed, cause he had a very good point. This guy was here to pump out our mess and he was happy to do it.

So, next time you think you have a bad job. I am sure there is someone out there doing a job with a smile that others would think would ruin their day if they had to do it. Cause I know if I had to pick up that human playdough it would have ruined my day.

Remember Attitude is Everything.

If you don’t spank them, who will?

Every now and then you will be in public and come across a parent that has a child that cannot seem to be controlled. I sometimes wonder if it is just a rare occurrence or is it a way of life for them.

I was in Kroger, when this really cute girl about age four came running around the corner followed by a Mom in her late 20’s screaming in her country twang “Come back here Paige or you are going to get a spanking”. I figured she had just gotten away and Mom was trying to get her back in the buggy. But apparently she is one of those parents that think it is "mean" to put them in a buggy and make them behave.

As I continue to shop I started hearing from the next aisle over “Paige, stop running or you are going to get a spanking”. Then a little later I hear “Paige , where did you go, get back her now or you are going to get a spanking”

As I stood in an aisle making my selection, the mom starts down my aisle when I hear her say “Paige, we have to go down this aisle, you need to stay with me or you are going to get a spanking”

At this point I was tired of hearing the name Paige and really ready to hear the kid actually get a spanking. But apparently it was only a hollow threat that was never followed through on.

Then the last thing I hear her say to her daughter before I head to the check out lane was “If you end up making us late to get Daddy from work he is going to give both of us a spanking.”  At that point I want to say “Does your husband need help, cause I think you both need a good spanking” But I kept my mouth shut and decided to put it in my blog.

 

If there is one little advice I could give new parents, don’t give hollow threats. If you say you are going to spank, then spank. These kids catch on real quick and it becomes nothing more than words to them. I know spanking for many is not a popular form of discipline, but I think God intended for us to spank them on their rear. Why would there be so much padding back there, compared to the rest of the body and so few nerve endings? It is the perfect spot and needs to be done under control, not in anger. My rule of thumb was one swat for each year they were alive. Luckily, I do not remember having to spank mine past the age of 10 or I might have worn out my arm.

I really do not understand these parents that allow their kids to run around the stores and restaurants instead of sitting calmly in the buggy or booster seat. I know that all starts at home and for us, we ALWAYS made our kids sit at the table in their high chair or booster chair calmly until everyone was done. I know that takes a little more effort, but over time it gets easy and the rest of society appreciates it. IF our kids acted up in public I promptly took then to the van and administered the discipline necessary. Not always was it a spanking, sometimes a good talking to would work. There again it took a little more effort, but others in the restaurant pay good money to eat calmly and on many occasions we have had elderly people come to us and make comments about how well behaved our children were.

If you don’t discipline your children , who will? When I was first becoming a father I heard someone say that troubled toddlers make troubled teens. If you do not have control of them as toddlers you will not have control of them when they are teens.

I will now step down off my soap box and let you continue with your day.